Friday, May 21, 2010

BREAKFAST SANDWICH SHOWDOWN!



The Truth is in the Cheese

In recent years, the most contentious battlefield in the fast−food industry has been the fight for breakfast sandwich supremacy. As the McDonald’s and Burger Kings of the world have ventured into coffee sales, chain coffee shops have begun trying to sell real food (meaning not muffins or donuts) to a larger demographic. The hope here is that people will be lazy enough to pick up a sandwich at the same time that they pick up their morning coffee.

Though I often frequent Starbucks and Dunkin’ Donuts, I have consciously stayed clear of the sandwich options that these two national java titans offer. But this spring, I decided to do some detective work on the subject. The result, dear reader, is this rundown, so that if you are ever in dire straits and need to grab a quick bite, you’ll know what to expect.

The Slightly Pretentious Bacon, Egg and Cheese: Starbucks’ success revolves around a few basic principles: 1) They make tasty lattés, 2) Americans are addicted to caffeine, and 3) average Americans, as proud of their culture as they may be, like to pretend that they are fancy Europeans. Starbucks’ sophisticated sentiment is reflected in the chain’s sandwich options, which are labeled as “artisan.” I ordered the bacon, smoked Gouda and Parmesan frittata sandwich ($3.25 in Davis Square), which is pre−made and then toasted so that the cheese is all warm and melty.

Despite the Parmesan element in the egg being entirely undetectable, and the egg itself having somewhat of a spongy texture, I was actually very impressed by the sandwich all in all, especially from a fast−food joint. The bread is a sourdough bun with a distinctive crust that has some give to it. The Gouda is fully melted and gooey on both slices of bread and actually tastes like real cheese. The bacon has nice fat content and, while overly salty on its own, blends nicely into the sandwich as a whole.

Starbucks’ slogan for its sandwiches reads, “Great coffee deserves great food,” but these “artisan” sandwiches are not great. No pre−made sandwich that does not use freshly cooked eggs ever could be great. The java giant does, however, do an adequate job of masking its faults and offering up a flavorful meal to go along with its beverage content.

America’s Breakfast Sandwich: Dunkin’ Donuts would like you to believe that “America Runs on Dunkin’.” I always thought that America ran on the sweat of over−worked Indonesian youths, but nevertheless, here I am, trying two sandwiches: the basic ham, egg and cheese, and the “waffle sandwich” (both $2.79).

While I like DD’s coffee, their sandwiches left much to be desired. The ham, egg and cheese looked like they were thrown down haphazardly, without direction, on an English muffin. The combination was flavorless, save for the nauseating processed taste of the orange slice of American cheese that the DD server failed to fully melt.

The waffle sandwich was a definite improvement, and kudos to DD for attempting to replicate the McGriddle and create a savory−sweet fusion. There were three problems with this sandwich, however. For starters, the waffle itself had a really mushy texture to it. Second, the egg layer had a mouth−feel similar to a plastic trash bag. And finally: the cheese. Once again, it was orange and not fully melted, but this time smeared around a little to create the viscous illusion of melting.

DD’s waffle sandwich definitely has potential, though. If they can somehow steal Starbucks’ cheese, fix the soggy waffle issue, and learn how to use a toaster correctly, the result just might be something tasty.

Here’s hoping that the next time America decides to run on Dunkin’, we won’t run into an abyss of nauseating misery.


Disclaimer: This column ran in "The Tufts Daily" on April 15, 2010

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